


Dead set on scared

by TheIceQueen



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Crying, Delirium, Drugs, Exhaustion, Fear, Gen, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Head Injury, Hunt Gone Wrong, Hurt Jace Wayland, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Needles, Pain, Panic, Poison, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Siblings, Siblings, Stitches, Whumptober 2019, Worried Alec Lightwood, Worried Isabelle Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-12-23 16:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21084353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: The fight is over but Alec and Izzy have a problem convincing Jace that they're alright.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts:  
Chapter 1: Whumptober 2019 #no.3 – Delirium  
Chapter 2: Whumptober 2019 #no.16 – Pinned down  
Chapter 3: Whumptober 2019 #altno.7 – Winded

“Behind you!”

Jace grabbed Alec’s shoulders and tried to turn him around but Alec wasn’t moving and wasn’t about to let Jace get up from the ground either.

“Alec!” Jace’s scream was high-pitched and didn’t match his uncoordinated and sluggish attempts to pull himself up.

“Jace. We killed it.” Alec tried talking calmly but the struggle holding Jace on his back was taking the wind out of him. “It’s over.”

Jace shook his head and looked terrified over Alec’s shoulder. “No, no…” He heaved in air and coughed as it passed through his throat too fast. “Alec…”

Alec turned his head a quick second and looked at the buildings standing tall behind him. He turned back and moved himself into Jace’s line of sight.

“Jace. It’s only shadows moving in the light of the car-headlights. Jace were safe.”

Keeping up the fast breathing, Jace shifted his head back and fourth to look over Alec’s shoulders.

“No, no, no. We’re safe.” Alec tried to get his attention but he was only granted short moments of connection. He tried leaning in closer to take up more of his field of vision. “Keep looking at me. Jace, just lie still."

“Jace!” Izzy dropped to her knees on the other side of the hurt hunter and looked over his body. “Alec…?”

“Iz.” Jace lifted his shaking hand and took hers. “You need to…” He looked from Alec to Izzy and then back. “Alec. Be careful.”

“Hey.” Alec took Jace’s chin and looked him in the eyes. “Jace.” He spoke clear and slow. “We are safe. It is over.”

Jace tried to pull himself up but wasn’t strong enough against his siblings and he was slowly pushed back down.

“Did he hit his head?” Izzy looked down Jace’s body again.

“I’m not sure. Maybe. But…” Alec took Jace’s shoulder and rolled him towards himself. Jace screamed out in pain as the deep cut on his back was revealed to Izzy.

“I’m…” Jace held on as tight as he possibly could to Jace’s arms and held his breath as he was turned back. He spoke only in a whisper. “I… I’m sorry.”

Izzy looked confused at Alec and when he shook his head, she cupped Jace’s cheeks with both hands and looked caringly at him. “Why are you sorry?”

“I…” He looked around him, clearly scared. “We should be quiet. They’ll find us.”

Izzy sat up on her heels and Alec was her speculating look.

“It can’t be blood loss…” Alec tried questioning. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“No.”

Alec took Jace’s hand in his before he grabbed Izzy’s necklace. “Jace, calm down.”

Izzy tried to look into Jace’s eyes but he shook her hands off his head and avoided eye-contact when she got too close.

“There’s no obvious head-wound, but it could be some kind of poison.” She put her hands around the brother’s joined hands. “Jace, we need to get you home.”

Jace tensed up and his eyes flared open. “No!” He seemed to have completely forgotten about being quiet.

He grabbed Alec’s shoulder with his free hand and pulled him closer. “It’s not safe. You go!”

Izzy and Alec shared a look and a small nod before standing and pulling Jace to his feet. He growled in pain as his back was stretched, but as soon as his lungs was somewhat functional, he pleaded for them to stop.

“No… Please, Alec. Save yourselves.” He tried to push himself from Izzy’s grasp around his waist. “Iz. Make him listen.”

Alec sent a fire message for a portal.

“Alec!” Jace pulled his arm from around Izzy’s shoulders and hung on only Alec’s and grabbed his other arm as well. “Please…”

Tears were flowing freely form Jace’s eyes. Alec tightened his grip, not sure if Jace was really that weak or if he was just too freaked out to manage his own legs.

“Jace. Listen…” Alec got real, retaliated, eye-contact with Jace. “We’re all safe. Izzy, you and me. We killed it.”

“We…” Jace frowned his forehead and looked at Izzy for a second before making contact with Alec again. “We killed it?”

“Yes. We’re okay.” Alec smiled softly at his confused brother.

A portal opened in front of them and Izzy hesitantly took Jace’s arm. He let her but as soon as they faced the glowing opening, he tensed up and pulled both of them closer.

“We… we shouldn’t do that. It could follow us.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... whoops, I made another chapter ;-)   
(one more is coming)

“Hold him still. I need a blood sample.”

Izzy had already put on gloves and had the needle in her hands.

“No!” Jace fought Alec’s grip and almost made it off the bed before Alec managed to push him back down. He hollowed in pain from the sudden pressure to the would on his back.

“Iz… Alec get away from me!”

With much trouble, Alec managed to hold Jace’s arm so Izzy could get what she needed to figure out what had Jace acting like this. It would have been easier to handle if Jace had stayed scared if the demons; it tore deep into Alec to see him scared of him and Izzy. If they couldn’t break trough to him, no one could.

“Jace. Listen…”

With sloppy coordination and fatigue Jace didn’t manage to hit Alec, but there was no doubt what he was aiming to do when Alec grabbed his wrist and pinned it to his chest.

“Izzy. You have to give him something!”

“We don’t know what it is.” Izzy was in the other end of the big room and her voice barely made it though Jace’s angry growls and occasional shouts. “It could react badly.”

Alec grabbed Jace’s other hand and pressed it to the mattress next to his head, making it impossible to throw punches and to move away.

“If it’s poison, it’s spreading too fast like this. I don’t think we have a choice.”

Izzy came back, and Alec’ move his hand a little without letting go of Jace’s hand, to make room for her to check his pulse.

“I can’t count it properly when he’s like this, hold on.” Izzy rushed through the words in one breath and ran to grab the stethoscope.

She placed it on Jace’s chest but his eyes widened even more and he twisted violently to get away.

“Don’t! Alec, get her off me!”

Izzy pulled it back and took the device from her ears for a second. Alec thought about trying himself, but he didn’t get that far before Izzy nodded at him to keep on holding tight as she pushed the stethoscope to Jace’s wrist.

“Alec!” Jace gasped for air and looked from Alec to Izzy and back. “Don’t! Just let me be. I’ll hurt you! I don’t want to hurt you!”

Alec’s stomach dropped. Jace wasn’t scared of them; this might be even worse. Holding his breath, Alec looked to Izzy, waiting for answer and read it on her face before she spoke.

“It’s too fast. He’s been like this for too long.” Somehow, Izzy was always acting calmly, yet fast, but Alec could hear the worry clear on her voice.

They shared a short gaze before Alec nodded at her determined. “We have to drug him.”

“No!” Jace tried to pull his arm’s from Alec, but he wasn’t strong enough. “It won’t work. You’ll make it worse! I’m dangerous.”

“Jace…” Alec turned to his brother, while Izzy prepared the sedative. “It’s all good. We’ve got you.”

Jace shook his head vigorously and tears ran from his eyes. Alec was sure he could feel Jace’s heart pounding on his chest. “Iz!”

“Here!”

Izzy jammed the needle through Jace’s shirt and into his upper arm and rapidly pushed in the plunger.

Jace’s fighting was replaced with a silent panting and small hiccups for air. His arms relaxed almost completely and his head fell slightly to the side letting his eyes find Alec’s.

“Jace…?” Alec tried hesitant.

“Alec.” Jace breathed out the word and blinked slowly. When he opened his eyes again, his forehead frown slightly. “Izzy?”

“I’m right here.” She reached in and turned Jace’s head with a finger in his chin, making it so he could see both of them.

Though there was two people smiling down at him, Jace’s chin quivered and he bit his lip, breathing less than controlled through his nose. Alec let go of his hand on his chest and took the other lightly in both if his.

“Jace. What is it? You still scared?”

Jace breathed in fast a single breath and a few more tears added to the wet spot on the pillow. Izzy’s calm hand brushed over his cheek and she smiled softly. “It’s alright. If you think hard you know we’re all safe and you could never hurt us.”

Alec watched the wheels spin behind Jace’s eyes as he slowly came to terms with Izzy’s statement and nodded.

“Good.” Izzy sat up straight and took the stethoscope again.

Jace tensed and looked to Alec, pulling his hand, as much as Alec thought he had strength to.

“Shh, Jace. It’s the poison. You’re not scared of this.”

Jace nodded as he bit his lip again, but he held his breath all the time the device toughed him and he didn’t take his eyes of Alec.

“Better. Still high, but safe.” Izzy walked through the room and put the stethoscope on a table where Jace couldn’t see it. She approached him slowly when she came back.

“Your back hurts, right?”

With a sudden fast breath, Jace’s eyes widened again.

“It’s alright.” Alec took Jace’s shoulder and when they got eye-contact, Alec nodded at him to answer. Without looking away from Alec, Jace nodded.

Alec looked quickly to Izzy and then tightened his hold on Jace’s shoulder and hand. “You should lie on your front. It will help.”

“I… I can’t.” The winded words were shaky. “Its…”

“I know.” Alec was perfectly sure how Jace felt. The poison was making everything scary and Alec felt every amount of it. Exposing his injury to possible being touched was too much for Jace. “Jace. I’ll be right here, but we need to get you looked at.”

Jace shook his head. “No… please.”

Convincing himself, that looking at Izzy was a bad idea, she was surely fighting tears, Alec kept his eyes at Jace. Which wasn’t better at all.

“Izzy?” Alec waited for her to whisper a small _yes_. “You need to check the blood sample first anyway, right?”

He heard her swallow a big heave of air. “I do.”

Alec smiled and cupped Jace’s cheek with a surprisingly, even to himself, calm hand. “Let’s turn you. You might get better from it. We’ll deal with everything else later.”

“Alec…” Jace gasped but stilled as Izzy rubbed his shoulder.

“I’ll stay away. You just talk to Alec while I’ll figure out how we’ll do this in a way you can agree to.”

Jace stared at Izzy for what seemed like a full minute before he looked back at Alec. “O-okay.”

It wasn’t easy to get Jace turned. Not only did he tense up at any sign of pain, he also didn’t want either of them to touch him anywhere on his back. When he was finally down and lying still he begged Alec to cover him with a blanket, but stopped him every time he approached him.

“It looks like a clean cut, it’s not that big either.” Alec hunched down into Jace’s line of sight a few feet from the bed. “We can drape a sheet over you and if you want the blanket too…”

“Where’s…?” Jace pushed himself up a bit to turn his head, but Izzy stepped up next to Alec before he had too.

“I’m not touching your back. Do you trust me when I say that?”

Jace swallowed and looked from one to the other. Then he shook his head and Alec had to stand and wrap an arm around Izzy’s waist for her not to fall. He felt his sister breathe shakily and turned her to look him in the eyes.

“He will soon. Let’s just get him better, okay?”

She nodded and Alec managed to thumb away a single tear before it broke. “Just keep thinking.” He turned her away from Jace and towards her workspace. “You’re good at this. _I_ trust you.”

He hugged her to his side and kissed the top of her head as she breathed deeply, composing herself. She walked to the other side of the room and Alec turned to Jace, who had tears running fast over his face.

“I’m sorry… I…” His voice cracked and he locked his jaw.

“It’s alright.” Alec walked closer and hunched down again, without attempting to touch Jace. “We know it’s not you. We know you love us as much as we love you.”

A small hiccup for air crossed Jace’s lips as he nodded again and looked at the sheet on the table next to them.

“You ready for this?” Alec closely studied every small movement on Jace’s face.

“Yeah… but…”

Alec stood up slowly and took the sheet. “I know. I’ll stay where you can see me.”

Only letting himself hesitate for a second, Alec smiled at Jace as he walked over and spread the white fabric in the air and let it float down over his quakingly tense body.

“There. No one will touch the cut now.”

Not knowing what to do next, Alec stepped back and looked at his terrified brother. “Jace…?” He waited for him to look up but it didn’t happen. “Jace, do you want me to leave you alone?”

A gasp, loud enough for Izzy to hear, filled the room and Jace’s eyes sprung up to Alec’s.

“No. I…” His hand on the mattress in front of his head, jerked a little, and without second-guessing himself, Alec took it firmly in his and kneeled down in front of his face.

“Alright. I’m right here.”

“Alec…” Jace’s tears flowed freely again and his voice wasn’t much more than formed air. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

“I know. It’s alright. We’ll figure it out.”

Jace shook his head and looked down at their joined hands. “No, not that… well, that too, but…” He swallowed and it took a few second to get his breathing back in order.

“What, Jace?”

“I can’t do this. All of this.” He pulled Alec’s hand closer to his shoulder. “I hate this sluggish feeling. I can’t move right and… it’s not better.”

Alec sighed and reached back to get a chair to sit on. “It _is_ better. I know you’re just as freaked out as before, but now we can talk to you. You know what’s going on and you’re able to think everything over.”

“I still hate it.”

Alec smiled and buried his free hand deeply in Jace’s hair. “I do too. I want you back. I need you to know that the three of us could never hurt each other, and it hurts me that you don’t right now.”

“I’m sorr…”

“Don’t be. It’s alright.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of Jace’s hand. “You will be okay again. We just need to counteract this poison.”


	3. Chapter 3

Jace was starting to get up. He fought Alec’s hands on his upper arm and his breathing was speeding up. It all got worse when Izzy came over.

“Jace. You need more to calm you down.” Alec tried to calm his brother with a light hand in his hair but the struggle of holding him was too much for that.

“I don’t. It makes it worse. I’m still…” His arm gave out from under him and he landed hard on his front.

Izzy rushed over but as Jace tensed up again, Alec held a hand up to stop her.

“I know you’re still scared. But I can’t fight you through this. It’s not worse it’s the same, you just can’t fight me and you can breathe.”

Jace shook his head against the pillow. “It’s not… it’s worse when I can’t do something. I need to be able to do something when it gets too much.”

“Jace.” Alec pressed Jace’s shoulder to the mattress, making sure he wasn’t rolling of the bed. “I’ll make you a deal, okay?”

With a small silent inhale, Jace looked up at Alec.

“If you don’t like the sedative we can do without…”

“Alec.” Izzy objected but Alec lifted his hand again, without taking his eyes off Jace.

He leaned in and loosened his grip a bit on Jace’s shoulder. “If you can lie still and keep your breathing in order, we won’t drug you.”

After a few seconds of Jace looking from Alec to Izzy, who was silently and reluctantly agreeing, Jace swallowed and nodded.

“Okay, Jace.” Izzy made a point out of putting down the syringe before standing next to Alec. “The poison has been seen before. We have antidote at the clave.”

“How long till she’s here?” Alec ignored Jace’s confusion and turned to Izzy. She didn’t have time to answer before the door opened and Izzy jumped up and wrapped her arms tightly around her mother.

Maryse kissed the top of Izzy’s head but didn’t take her eyes of Jace. Alec’s hand was crushing in Jace’s grip as tears rolled from Jace’s eyes again.

“Mom?”

Maryse made room between her and Izzy and folded her daughter’s hand around a small glass vial. She nodded for her to go on and Izzy took it with her to her workplace. Quick but carefully, Maryse took Jace’s hand from Alec and hunched down in front of his face.

“Hi Sweetheart.”

“Mom, I…”

Maryse shook her head and wiped a tear from Jace’s cheek. “Izzy explained everything. I see you’re scared and it’s okay.”

Alec buried his hand in Jace’s hair and Jace looked up at him shortly before he drew in a shaky breath and forced his chin not to shiver. “But it’s not me.”

“No it’s not.” Maryse, wrapped her other hand around Jace’s too. “It’s the poison. We have a cure for that and we’ll get you through this. But you have to do your part.”

The fear radiating of Jace, almost tore Alec to the ground and their mom must have noticed, because she pulled a chair over for both of them. Alec forced a smile and took it, sitting down next to his mom. It felt better having her there. He felt in on Jace too. Even if they took up more of the view he had of what Izzy was doing, it was more secure.

“My part…?” Jace’s voice was only a shaky whisper by now and Alec instinctively rubbed his fingers a bit harder on his scalp.

“Yes, Sweetheart. You have to let Izzy inject it and you have do it without hitting any of us. Can you do that?”

Jace tightened his jaw and, after Alec had pictured Jace fighting his way out of the room in ten different ways, he slowly nodded. Alec wasn’t so sure that Jace believed that he could do that, but they both knew he had the choice between the antidote, or the sedative and then the antidote.

“Jace.” Alec waited for Jace to look at him. “Are you sure?”

Jace’s breathing sped up before Alec noticed that Izzy was standing on the other side of Maryse. She was wearing gloves, but she’d been smart enough to put the needle in a small box so Jace couldn’t see it.

“Iz…” Jace’s shifted is position and bit his lip before trying again. “Izz… what…? how?”

“I’ll explain everything first.” She was on the brink of tears. Alec was doubting that she could explain anything, but she took a deep breath and continued. “It’s only one injection. You don’t have to move; I’ll inject it in your neck.”

Jace started to shake his head and Alec brushed away the single tear escaping his eye before slowly rubbing his upper arm. “Breathe, Jace. Let her finish, then we’ll talk.”

Izzy continued at her mother’s sign. “You will feel the needle, but the antidote won’t hurt. It might make you feel warm, like you were in warm water, but it won’t last long.”

“Like…” Jace gasped. “Like burning?”

“No.” Izzy pushed herself closer to Maryse and hunched down so she could look directly into Jace’s eyes. “No, Jace. _Warm._ It will be weird, but it won’t hurt, okay?”

They all waited for Jace to nod, but he didn’t. He still didn’t trust them. Alec’s stomach curled up and his lungs froze for a second but was shaken back to life by his mother’s voice.

“Jace. You’ll do fine. You’re stronger than this poison.” She put a hand on Izzy’s shoulder and Izzy reluctantly stood up and walked to the other side of the bed.

Jace promptly turned his head to look for her, but Maryse placed Alec’s hand on Jace’s and hastily walked to the head end of the bed and turned him back.

“No!” Jace gasped and tried to push himself up, but with his hand in Alec’s and Izzy’s hand on his opposite shoulder there wasn’t much he could do, still a bit affected by the sedative from before. He shook his head in Maryse’s gentle hold. “Mom, no wait!”

She leaned in close to his ear and spoke quietly. “Look at Alec. Trust Izzy. You’re safe with us, you’ll always be safe with us.”

Tears rolled freely to the pillow as Jace’s terrified eyes landed on Alec.

“Hey. I’m here, okay?”

Jace breathed in shakily and tensed as Maryse took his hand on the other side and held it on the pillow.

“Jace.” Alec demanded his attention. “You can do this. Breathe.”

To Alec’s and what seemed like the other’s big surprise too, Jace nodded and grabbed on tighter than ever on the hands in his. Maryse nodded at Izzy and she opened the box. Alec couldn’t see more than movement coming closer out of the corner of his eye as Alec kept his full attention on Jace’s face.

“No, no, no…” Jace gasped the words when Izzy touched his neck.

Alec knew that deep breath; Izzy was calming herself. Jace tensed up as the needle entered his skin. “Five seconds,” Izzy said calmly.

A small whimper crossed Jace's lips. Alec rubbed one thumb over the back of Jace’s palm and the other on his shoulder.

“Four… three...” Izzy counted till she pulled out the needle and stepped away. “There. It’s gone, Jace.”

Alec took a rare second to look up at her with an approving smile. Jace’s breathing speed up and he started shaking his head again.

Trying to get his attention, Alec leaned in closer and squeezed his hand and shoulder. “Talk to us, Jace.”

“It’s…” His words got caught in rapid moving air. “I… don’t…”

Izzy ran to Alec’s side and sat on the chair next to him. She put her hand on top of her brother’s hold on each other and looked him in the eyes. “I know you don’t like it. I know you can’t control it, but it’s as it’s supposed to be. It won’t take long, just try to breathe through it.”

Jace nodded at her, but his breaths still became faster and soon they were broken up by small sobs.

Maryse leaned in and kissed his temple lightly. “Shh. It’s okay to be scared. It’s even okay to cry. You’re doing good, Baby. You’re lying still. You’re doing it.”

Alec’s eyes flooded with tears, not sure if it was from being helpless or if it was Jace’s fear and desperation needing more room than his own body. Jace was exhausted. Alec knew he was using all of his energy to convince himself not to fight his way out if this. That it was too late now anyway; the stuff was already in him.

As Jace’s crying and gasping for air became more rough and stronger, Alec settled a heavy hand on his lower back and let Izzy rub his shoulder. “We’re here, Jace.”

He could hear his own voice shake and he wanted to ask Izzy how long this would take, but he wasn’t sure he could. He wasn’t sure he wanted the answer anyway. Only seconds later though, Jace seemed to relax a bit. His cries stilled and the grip on Alec’s hand loosened a little.

“Jace?” Alec tried carefully.

“I…” Jace was still struggling for air, but now it was like after a workout. He was calming down fast. “I’m…”

“I know.” Alec smiled at his mom and sister and nodded. Jace’s fear was gone. His frustration and will to run out of the room had vanished in seconds. “I know, Jace. Just catch your breath.”

Jace nodded and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Maryse wiped away his tears with a small towel and Jace was exhausted enough to just let her. Izzy’s head landed on Alec’s shoulder. He let her have Jace’s hand and wrapped both his arms around her.

“I’m sorry.” Jace’s tired eyes looked up at them, filled with embarrassment.

“Jace.” Maryse stood behind Alec so Jace could see her. “Don’t be sorry.”

“Right…” Alec landed a heavy hand on Jace’s elbow. “Even without poison it’s alright to freak out. We can’t help it.”

Jace smiled and blinked slowly. It couldn’t be long before he was going to pass out. “Well, not with a tiny cut like this.” He moved his shoulder a little holding back a hiss from the stretching of the deep cut.

Izzy huffed as she sat up straight and shook her head. “So, I see you’re back. Should we close it up then?”

Jace squeezed her hand and nodded with a smile. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing. I guess you don’t have a problem with the needle for the anesthesia?”

Jace frowned and looked from one to the other. “How long is it?”

Izzy was already on by the counter, picking out what she needed. Maryse sat down in her place and brushed a thumb over his jawline. “You’ll want the anesthesia.”

“Okay, then.” Jace looked to Alec, clearly to make him believe that he was fine. Alec was sure anyway.

Izzy came over and this time Jace didn’t bother to follow her with his eyes. They were already closing and not even the hiss he let loose and the tensing of his hand with the first injection, had him open them. The second one only prompted a low hum and when Izzy started on the first stitch, he was sleeping quietly and calm.


End file.
